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Why I eat grapefruit

Behold; my beloved acrid orb

I eat grapefruit because I’m selfish. It’s a repugnant realization. But I have to be straight. I mean, if you’re not gonna be honest with yourself, how can anyone else believe anything you say?

I came to this objectionable awareness the other day after my children devoured two flats of Costco strawberries, three giant Jazz apples from A.J.’s, a bulging bag of juicy, seedless purple grapes, and two pints of exorbitantly priced blueberries from the farmer’s market. You see, nothing is ever mine! And it’s not fair. I get hungry too.

I go to some type of grocery store every single day because my children love fresh, healthy fruits and vegetables more than life itself. I know you’re thinking, “and she has a problem with that?” But hear me out. It’s all well and good until my husband or I venture into the kitchen with a craving for a crisp cucumber or a newly picked peach. It’s never there! They eat EVERYTHING! This is not hyperbole. You can ask anyone who’s ever shared a snack with my boys. They’ll bypass the deep fried mozzarella sticks, skip the salty potato puffs, and opt instead for a platter of peppers or an extra helping of honeydew. The other day I nuked a bunch of brussel sprouts only to discover them completely eaten by the time I set the table for dinner.

Thus I have turned to grapefruit. It is bitter, tough to peel, and time consuming to ingest. Three traits that ensure my boys will avoid it like gluten. Loosely interpreted, this means that I can fill the fruit bowl with several of my acrid orbs on Monday and when I finally get around to eating them on Wednesday, they will still be there! I can even sit down on the coach, in full view of my children, and indulge in my citrus sections without fear of having to share even one slice with those irresistible imps arguing over the tv remote control.

I know it’s ugly. I should be ashamed. But sometimes, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Hmmm…maybe I’ll start eating liver.

About gettrich

Debra Rich Gettleman is a professional actor, playwright and journalist living in Oklahoma City with her husband Mark and two amazing boys, Levi and Eli.

One response to “Why I eat grapefruit

  1. Soul Sister ⋅

    OK – As a close friend who loves your boys dearly and has had them over many times, I am happy to “stock up” on thealthy fresh fruits and veggies to prepare for a visit. I love that they love to indulge in these nutritional foods and hope that is will happen to my children by osmosis. I go to the store, carefully selecting the freshest fruits and veggies and then putting two to three times the amount I would normally buy into my cart. I happily clean everything. The boys arrive and I love the fact that they feel at home in our home. Sometimes they’ll ask for food, or just go in search of it. I watch them as they eat a bowl of strawberries, while my daughter has one or two and asks for a nutrigrain bar. Then the boys eat veggies, blueberries and apples, while my daughter is either asking for something with no nutritional value or has lost interest in food altogether and is off to play. I love that these boys have a genuine like for the healthy stuff because it will be a lifelong habit. I can’t see them going for a check up, only to have their doctor say, “Could you please add more carbs and fat to your diet”? I only wish I could have this dilemma. However, having said that, I also love grapefuit. I buy them and know that they will be there when I want them, right next to the strawberries and blueberries.


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