genetics | Unmotherly Insights

Paper tigers can scare you as much as real ones!

Why is it we think our kids can escape the struggles we’ve spent our entire lives battling against? That’s what I kept thinking as my 10 year old son’s “talking doctor” explained to him that some kids have “worry brains” that always imagine the worst case scenario in every situation. So when I called my husband last night and asked him to meet me down the block so that our puppies didn’t become dinner to a wandering pack of coyotes I’d encountered, my son was certain that the phone call that led my husband out the front door was a tragic announcement of the demise of both myself and our beloved canines. It took several hours and a great deal of cognitive determination on all our parts to calm my son and finally coax him into bed.

But as I listened to him retelling the story today, there was something unnervingly familiar about his process; almost an eerie sense of deja vu engulfed me. Why? Because he is me! The anxiety. The worry. The incessant voices predicting doom and gloom. My first “talking doctor” called it “catastrophizing.” My son’s dramatic reactions are no different from the way I respond when instead of returning home at 6:30, my husband doesn’t arrive until 7:30 and I take myself step by step through the difficulties I will have to face as a newly widowed mother of two young boys.

I can’t help it. I tell myself irrational stories that scare the bejesus out of me. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember. Frankly, it amazes me when I meet people who don’t live in this type of constant agony. I try hard to contradict the voices that drone on in my head. Sometimes I’m even able to convince myself that whatever impending tragedy awaits me is merely a “paper tiger” as my dad used to say when I was a little girl and my anxiety first surfaced.

But somehow I conveniently forgot about brain genetics when I decided to have children. I guess if I’d realized that my sweet young babies would one day grow up to battle the same mental demons that have pursued me with such unwavering commitment all these years, I might have thought twice about having them. But then where would I be?

Maybe there’s a cosmic challenge here, a symbolic gauntlet that’s been laid at my feet. I need to stop the worry voices in my own head so that I can guide my son to a place of peace and ease within himself so that he doesn’t spend the rest of his life held hostage by a bunch of menacing voices whose only purpose is to keep him from becoming the amazing person he’s meant to become.

Hmmm…easier said than done.

The facts:
1.Autism is a neural development disorder.
2.Autism is genetically based.
3.There is no cure for autism.

A recent study in the Journal “Pediatrics” suggests that 1 in 100 children have some form of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Thatʼs about 1% of children.

It sounds scary. But letʼs pretend weʼre Nancy Drew or Encyclopedia Brown for a moment. Letʼs start by examining how the data was collected:

In phone interviews of 78,000 families, parents were asked if their child was ever told by any health care provider that he had an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). (Keep in mind that includes autism, Aspergers and pervasive developmental disorder).

Honestly, Iʼm not sure I know anyone who wasnʼt told at some point by someone that their child had ASD. Either kids were stacking cans, refusing to socialize, or throwing tantrums at Target. Whatever the negative behavior, there are plenty of health care providers out there who are all too willing to label the first signs of antisocial behavior as ASD. However, the mere asking does not dictate the disease.

The investigators also asked a follow-up question: Did these same ASD children still have the disease? The answer? 40% of parents and guardians said no.

OK, I know how inconvenient factual evidence can be, but letʼs glance back to the three undisputed facts at the top of the page. Check out number 3. There is no cure for Autism. Get out your magnifying glass and fingerprint duster kit. Itʼs not going to take much detective work to figure this one out. Obviously, 40% of kids included in the ASD numbers did not really have autism at all. Why am I the only one who sees this clearly? Do you think nearly half of all ASD sufferers were touched by some kind of Godly miracle? Maybe these lucky kids were prayed for by a group of extremely pious Tibetan monks? Or maybe they never had autism to begin with!

Iʼm tired of the hysteria. There are more cases of autism and ASD today because thatʼs how weʼre classifying every childhood behavioral abnormality. Have you ever bothered to notice that the numbers of children labelled mentally retarded has decreased in direct proportion to the increase of ASD sufferers? Wow, what a starting coincidence.

But what really pisses me off is that people want to believe in a cure that doesn’t yet exist. We want it so badly that we’re willing to believe anything. Look, I think we will find a cure, and hopefully soon. It will more than likely involve some highly advanced genetic engineering. Scientists are working hard to locate the Autism genes and find ways to repair or replace them. But it could take years. And I think itʼs a shame that so many families are shelling out good money to charlatans who promise to end Autism thru detox, diet, exercise, chiropractic adjustments, and laser treatments. If your child truly has autism, these fads are a waste of money and hope.

Don’t get me wrong, Iʼm all for giving your child all that you can in terms of love, resources, encouragement, education. If you have a child who does truly suffer from Autism, my deepest wish is that a cure will be found and that you and your child can live a relatively normal life. All I ask is that we donʼt insist that every childhood behavioral quirk is part of the Autism Spectrum. Letʼs use the resources and money we have for the children who really need it. That way we really can concentrate our efforts on solving the mystery of this debilitating disease.